You May Now Be Seated

So I'm just a girl that happened to be born with the ability to pee standing up. Now, you would think that something like peeing really wouldn't be anything special, but I've sat through long, drawn out conversations on the subject. More specifically, to answer the question: As a pre-op trans woman, do you sit or stand when you pee?

A simple question really. And honestly, the answer really doesn't make much of a difference - mostly because how somebody pees is their own private business. Heck, you could pee standing on your head for all I care. Just as long as you get it all IN the toilet and not everywhere else. Yet I'm completely amazed by how many people are very adamant about this topic.

I can only speak for myself however, and since this is my blog, that's really what I've planned on doing since I started writing. I'll answer the question for two reasons. Firstly (quite an awkward word, but I do believe it's grammatically correct to begin this way) - maybe someone else will read it and think about it and perhaps it could help them come up with their own stance on the issue, whether for or against my own. Though I doubt it. Secondly - It just happens to be on my mind at the moment and I feel like typing. This is by far the larger motivating factor of the two reasons.

Anyway, I'm beginning to ramble again. On the subject of peeing standing up, my thoughts are this: it's convient. That's pretty much it. I don't really care whether my position while peeing is associated with one gender or the other at the moment. I guess technically since I'm still pre-op I'm already stuck in the world between genders. As much as I loathe being in that place and long to be fully female, that doesn't negate the fact that sometimes, it's just so much easier to pee standing up. So on occasion I do.

Now, of course when I'm in any kind of public facility I don't stand - I sit. Regardless of whether it's bathroom with multiple stalls, or the kind that's just a room built to occupy a single person (not in the sense that their not seeing someone, but in the sense that they are alone) with a door that locks. Doesn't matter. If it's outside of my house, I sit. You never know just how well the locks are gonna work :) This also applies when going to someone else's house - even if they themselves are transgender. Now they are more then welcome to pee however they want in their own home, and I would never judge them. But for me, it's just one of my idiosyncrasies.

In my own house, I usually sit. But...every once in a while, I just get lazy. That's when I'll stand. Why? It's convient. Anyone who's spent any length of time around me will know that I'm all for the most convient method availiable. Now, I gave up a lot of conveniences when I started transitioning, and gave some of them up for good when I went full time. It now takes me nearly an hour to get ready in the morning, when in the past I could wake up and be out the door in 15 minutes. I sometimes feel like I have to plan out what I'm going to wear to an event days in advance, when as a boy I just didn't give a crap what I wore.

But in each one of those instances where I gave something up, I also got something back in return. Something that was more important to me, such as wearing the clothes that reflect my gender, or being able to do my hair or make-up. Sure, some days it's a pain, but it beats the hell out of being a boy all the time. But when it comes to peeing, I don't really gain anything by sitting down 100% of the time. Yea, it's good practice and will help me get used to doing it after GRS, but that's about 5 years down the road from now - it's not like I'm cramming right before a final or anything. It doesn't really make me feel any more feminine. I'm just peeing for goodness sake! And truth be told, that is the one negative aspect of GRS - losing the convenience of standing to pee. Everything else will be sooooo much better, but I will miss the ability to be a bit lazier from time to time. I personally don't feel that there's anything wrong with that. I know a lot of women who would love to be able to pee standing up. That doesn't mean they want to be male, it just means they wish life was a bit easier every once in a while. I'm physically able to do it, so why not take advantage of it once in a while?

Anyway, that's really all I wanted to say about it. And to be honest, I don't even know why I brought it up. But hey - I did warn you this blog was going to be way more random, so you have absolutely no reason to complain.

Act Your Age

One of the most common pieces of advice I've heard given to people relatively new to the trans community - those who are first starting out - is that you should "Dress your age". This is very similar to the phrase "Act your age" that is often used by parents to scold misbehaving children. Not that they're in any way related, it just that's what it reminds me of. Getting back on topic, dressing your age is actually very good advice, which is why we hear it tossed around so much. I know I heard my fair share of it when I first started building a wardrobe. But what do you do when you're not really sure what your perceived age is?

You'd think it would be as simple as checking your driver's license to see how old you are, and then dress accordingly. And for most people, it is indeed that simple. But that hasn't been my experience. Pre-transition, I was used to most people assuming I was younger then I actually was - especially if I decided to remove annoying facial hair completely. Being small didn't hurt either. It was something I kinda just took for granted. Occasionally I would get student discounts when I had already graduated from college - that was pretty cool. Then I started going out as a female instead of a male. I went from looking like a late teens/early twenties guy to a late 30's early 40's woman. Sure I got ma'amed - which was nice, but I definitely looked older then my (at the time) 26. So I dressed accordingly. Or at least I tried. I was learning, and was by no means perfect. I was probably a little all over the spectrum, but my wardrobe started to drift toward that of a more mature woman.

But after hormones, and a fair amount of FFS, and electrolysis, it appears I've started to drift back over into the younger side again, which is just plain awesome, and something I really wasn't expecting to happen. Just last week I had two people assume I was 21. One was a friend I've known for a few months, and he couldn't believe it when I told him how old I was. The other was a perfect stranger I struck up a conversation with, during the course of which he asked, "you're what? 21?". No. I'm 27. Then again this week, one of the guys installing our new network at work commented that I was really young to be in charge. He thought I was 18! I've also started to get 'miss' a lot more now as well when I'm out and about running errands. Again - totally awesome! I don't really see it myself, but it's cool if others do.

And that's the problem - I don't see it. Not just me - I'm a horrible judge of people's age in general. I can tell a lot about someone's personality type right away, but not their age. It's just not something that ever really mattered to me, so I don't know what to look for. So if I don't know what age I look like, how the heck am I supposed to dress and act my age? I guess at some point it really doesn't matter so long as you're comfortable in whatever you wear (and you're not offending anyone else ^_^). Having at least a scintilla of fashion sense would prolly help too. But it's really frustrating when you go out shopping, and you wonder whether or not something would be seen as age appropriate on you, and you just don't know.

Still - it's nice to be thought of as younger again. I've learned to never take youth for granted.

Nostalgia

Before I transitioned I had a bright red SpongeBob t-shirt. The caption beneath SpongeBob simply said "Guess what's in my pants!"

Sigh...sometimes I wish I still had that shirt.